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The Perils of People Pleasing

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The Perils of People Pleasing

By Amy Wormwell, The Centre For Women & Co.

I am a recovering People Pleaser. As a child I was given many responsibilities around caring for others e.g. younger siblings, cousins, friends, parents. This created a ‘role’ for me in life that I subconsciously looked for as an adult. After many years, I found that my people pleasing wasn’t making me feel good at all, it was leading to me to feel disrespected, frustrated, used and exhausted! It was at this time that I started going to counselling to work through this.

Through this work I found that I was carrying a belief that I had to be agreeable and helpful to have value and worth. I did not feel worthy and the real reason for my people pleasing was that I was terrified of rejection.

WITH THE HELP OF MY COUNSELLOR I HAVE LEARNT THAT:

  1. SAYING NO DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE A BAD PERSON.
  2. IT’S GOOD TO KNOW YOUR VALUE
  3. IT’S OK TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST
  4. IT’S OK TO GET SUPPORT

I still sometimes fall into old patterns, but now I give myself permission to change my mind if I’ve said yes but am feeling overwhelmed……and the funny thing is, the world keeps turning……and life goes on.

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